by L. L., Los Altos
Andrew Whitworth, a successful NFL athlete, once said, “If you’re a true warrior, competition doesn’t scare you. It makes you better.” But what is competition, at its core? Is it pitting students against each other and encouraging them to put others down for their own benefit, or is it allowing students to better their skill and sportsmanship habits by urging them to measure themselves against each other? Should we have children participate in competitions? Some might say that we shouldn’t because it would just teach children to do whatever they can to beat each other. However, it would be best for children to partake in competitions because it not only gives them a chance to learn from their mistakes and provides them with motivation, but it also allows them to learn good sportsmanship habits for when they inevitably have to deal with tough competition later on in their life.
One reason parents should allow their children to partake in competition is that it gives children a chance to learn from their mistakes and deal with loss. People make mistakes. It’s inevitable. No one is perfect, and when the time comes that a child makes a mistake, it’s important that they are able to accept that they’ve made a mistake and learn from it. For example, I remember when I was about eight years old, my dad took me to play in my first-ever tennis tournament. But in the very first game I played, I got crushed. When I went crying to my dad, he told me that I shouldn’t look at the loss — I should look at the steps I took towards that loss and consider how I could prevent it in the future. Since then, I’ve viewed losses, especially in tennis, as a way to look back on what I missed and what mistakes I made so I can review them and do better next time. Once children grow up, they can use these skills that they learned from early competition and apply them to the competitions that they will see in adulthood, such as applying for colleges or working towards their career. Without knowing how to deal with losses early on, children won’t be able to move forward in life.
Parents should also allow their children to partake in competition because it provides them with the motivation they need to do their best. Although some people might be more competitive than others, most want to see that the effort they put in paid off and that they have improved in what they are doing, which is most easily shown using other people for comparison. A child can more easily see how her work compares to the work of others when she is competing, and if she keeps on competing with those competitors and eventually beats them, then she will be able to see how much her work paid off, which motivates her to do better and better. Unmotivated children don’t get much done. Kids need something to keep them going, whether it’s outside influence or internal motivation, and both of these can be achieved with healthy competition between peers. Parents and competitors provide outside influence, and the desire to do better provides the internal motivation necessary for a child to do her best. Some might say that children don’t need competition to fail and learn from mistakes, and that children can understand this concept just fine on their own. However, there is a difference between learning in a competitive environment with other people and learning on one’s own. A large part of dealing with failure is learning how to support others through their wins despite your own loss, and without others present, this is extremely difficult to practice. As long as there are people, there will be competition, and by giving a child early exposure to loss, parents can give their child a chance to understand that loss can sometimes be gain.
Allowing children to be in competitions with other people also teaches them good sportsmanship habits. When competitions happen, a child’s initial thought generally is that they must beat whatever opponents they have, no matter the cost. However, it’s a parents job to teach them that being in competition with others is a way to judge their own capabilities, and whether they win or lose, they should lift their opponents up and support them instead of bragging or being rude. Although some might say that competition, especially at a young age, will teach children to go against each other, in reality, it gives the kids an opportunity to see that cooperation enhances competition, and by working together, they and all of their competitors can succeed in their own way. A great example of this is theater. Performing in theater is both competitive and cooperative, and it forces the children to support their castmates even if they didn’t get the part they wanted. Everyone has to put in their all, even if their role is not as flashy, because if they don’t, then the whole show is ruined. The people in the starring roles also have to support their fellow castmates, because to put on a good show, the cast needs to have a good dynamic. Learning how to get over one’s own disappointments and still be able to uplift and work with others is an essential skill, no matter what career path one chooses.
As we continue to guide the next generation towards their future, it is important to keep in mind that healthy competition can help them learn from their mistakes, motivate themselves, and practice good sportsmanship. Being a parent can be hard, and it can be difficult to not coddle your child and keep them in a bubble, but the end goal is to make sure that every child gets the chance to grow into the best version of themselves, which they cannot do without competition. Whether it’s through chess tournaments, college applications, or tennis games, allowing children to go through competition early is beneficial for all. With that said, it’s time for me to head to my next tennis tournament!